Intergenerational relationships have been a cornerstone of society for most of history. Families once lived, worked, and grew together across generations, with grandparents, parents, and children often sharing the same household. But over time, especially in the Western world, that pattern began to shift. Today, age groups are more separated than ever before, raising important questions about what we’ve lost in the process and how we might restore those connections.

We know that intergenerational relationships are beneficial for so many reasons. This raises a question: if these connections are so beneficial, why are they missing from our daily lives? Did people in the past struggle with the same issue? To answer that, it helps to look back at how the intergenerational family has evolved.

For most of human history, multigenerational households were the norm. Before industrialization, families lived together under one roof (or within close proximity) not only due to cultural norms but out of necessity. Pooling resources was essential for the success and survival of the family. It was not unusual for family members we would now consider “extended,” such as aunts, uncles, cousins, and great-aunts and uncles, to be part of a household. Grandparents (or older adults of other relations) often provided childcare and domestic labour while being responsible for passing down cultural, religious, and family traditions. Younger adults contributed labour for farming, crafts, or other means of sustaining the family. Children, meanwhile, learned by working and playing alongside both their elders and their peers. In times when the vast majority of what a person learned came directly from their family and neighbours, effective generational knowledge transfer was vital.

The 20th century brought sweeping changes to this way of life. The post-war era, in particular, saw the rise of the “nuclear family”: a household made up of two parents and their children. While often called the “traditional family,” this is a relatively new concept. Western post-war economic prosperity, urbanization, and a growing cultural emphasis on independence all contributed to this shift. As family living arrangements changed, grandparents increasingly moved into more peripheral roles. They remained beloved, but were more often visitors than members of the household.

At the same time, social structures were reshaped by work and schooling. As more families had both parents working outside the home, children spent increasing amounts of time in childcare or school environments, where they were grouped almost exclusively with peers of the same age. Older adults, meanwhile, found themselves living alone, with a spouse, or in retirement communities with others their own age. What was once a naturally interwoven social fabric gradually became an age-segregated society, where each generation spends the bulk of its time among peers. In the mid-20th century, nearly 70% of older adults in North America lived with their children and grandchildren. By the early 2000s, that number had fallen to around 15%. This decline represents more than just a shift in living arrangements; it reflects a profound transformation in how generations relate to one another and the roles we hold within both our families and our communities.

Today, children and older adults are more socially separated than ever, despite being two groups that benefit enormously from time spent together. In addition to things like life skills, language development, and cultural values, children gain stability, wisdom, and patience from older adults, while older adults gain purpose, joy, and connection from being around young people. Understanding this history helps explain the urgency of rebuilding those connections. Intergenerational life and learning were once a given. Now, they require intention, creativity, and community projects that bring people of all ages back together. The intergenerational family may have changed, but our need for connection across generations has not.

Families Canada